Happy 6th Anniversary to Mackel9’s Blog! It is now 6 years down this line of random stories from the experiences all around the world. I would like to thank all of you fam and a special mention goes to @Woolie he is never shy to leave a trail. That is not to leave out the ghost readers, I always see you in my stats, Thank you! 🙂
So the cat in me decided, what the hell is this tinder i kept hearing from a third of the conversations from my friends and acquaintances. Like a cat the curiosity built up untill I could not hold it anymore
Si I decide to let my ass join tinder well that was to last exactly for one week only. So here is my short and crazy experience on this animal😂
Saturday
Start checking out tinder alternatives. Saw hot or not. Fun something. Badoo. Tinder and a host of other unrated apps. Itart reading reviews and finally decide to go with tinder.
Sunday
I download the app and start learning the ropes. I start swiping right but I am choosy. Oolala I get a couple of hot hot babes who swipe back and it’s a match!😏😏 I must be doing pretty good. I go start checking out my new babes description and alas! Guess what I find out? They are escorts! A snippet of the description read “twerk queen, will make you forget your problems. Well loaded guys, broke boys and jokers please swipe left” Wueh!
The other nubile match that atleast looks innocent we start chatting then I have no idea what I said wrong she unmatched me!😭😭
Monday
The word fuckboy keeps appearing more times than I could count. I have to find out what it means. The matches who say they just want just friends can’t really seem to hold a conversation. I think maybe it is my kick off strategy that is bad, I go to the app store and download apps to help with the cheesy lines that break the ice and get her talking. When the tacky lines can’t seem to work since they are not tailored for Africa. Especially Kenya I surrender.
I go to my friend M and start lamenting how I cannot seem to find babes on tinder. Babes who are not seeking the size of my pants or wallet. She asks me to send her my profile and she goes nope nope throw away those pics put kickass pics. You got to be a thirst trap Kel. I think a thirst trap huh? Okay then. Challenge accepted.
Tuesday
I go through my phone and find some kickass pics which I get M to put the stamp of approval and put them up. I put them up and wait. And wait and waaaaaiiiiit. Kwani these people don’t see my kick ass pics ama niaje? I mean I am playing by the rules and even have enlisted the help of a coach all ego aside right?
Wednesday
I decide maybe it is my description is the one giving me problems. I formulate what I think was pretty dope.”If I was a cat my ninth would be lost on tinder, just a curious mind. Existing only in your mind, I am yours, your faithful imaginary friend #TinderHomeofImaginaryFriends
Thursday
My coach tells me “dude you got to be swiping as much as possible, you can’t be expecting her to fall from heaven line manna”. From that alone I change my discovery setting from the minimum of 2 km to max of 159 km.
I then swipe and super like until all my likes and super lies are finished. So I am told super like is for those who don’t want to waste time. You could see the future mother of your kids and you don’t want to wait until she sees you and swipes right back. You want her to get notifications because tinder doesn’t let the other person know. It has to be a mutual liking to get a match. So say you are a guy and want to give a lady your sperm and you don’t feel like you can wait. You super like and fast forward that hookup. Same thing applies for ladies, say you see a guys who makes your ovaries cry out for him. Super like that dude!!! You are welcome!!
Friday
I don’t log in
Saturday
I get new matches I feel good again. But the weird part is nobody seems interested in conversation. More matching and unmatching.
Then I decide to chat up the very first matches I made and the response is straight to the point Ten thousand for an hour.
I curl back to where I came from. I tell my friend and she tells me she gets that alot, instead of hi, it’s “how much for a night”
Sunday
This day I match with a creative manager somewhere and I think you myself finally I found someone to talk to. And the best thing is she wants friends only. So I ask her why she is on tinder and as I am about to explain myself and goofyness I was unmatched!
I decide I had enough in tinder wonderland. I deactivate the Account and delete the app. For now I’d rather rather talk to the crazy strangers in mathrees. Let me stick to the rivers and lakes I am used to…
Have you ever been on tinder? What was your experience?
Yes I am on tinder! I never thought I would join online dating sites but I finally found myself downloading tinder at 12 am….
How it all begins
I used to be that person whose messenger would read “this person responds to messages in less that 20 minutes” and so were most of my friends. You’d find someone to talk to at 3am on those sleepless nights and you will the night away.
With time these friends they tell you, I found someone and as the rules dictate, when a friend finds someone you cannot be sending messages past nine unless you want to cause problems. And we all want our friends to prosper, yes? And even the conversation patterns start telling you when is a good time to talk. If all messages sent past 8.27pm get responses at 9.11 am, it can only mean you gave to work around 9.00 am and 8.00pm for any meaningful conversation to happen.
And then?
One two three they keep finding people, but you seem to be the one not too keen on it, so what do you do? You start looking, and guess what? The people in your age group are not about that life of talking anymore, they are all “searching” there are clocks ticking, well except me lol
Tinder
It is 12 am, I am in my bed and it has, and still is raining heavily. Everyone has switched off, I think why not try tinder, I keep hearing about it. I go to the play store and find a host of dating apps, badoo etc etc. So those badoo email notifications I used to see, this was what it was all about? I download my tinder and authenticate and register my details. All is done and I start swiping. I swipe swipe swipe swipe and swipe some more. I go to sleep. In the morning I have three matches! Awesome :-). I hope the knowi just want to talk late at night not really date :-D, but let me wait and see. Wish me luck
PS. Concerns
I just hope if I meet freaks, crazies and weirdo’s, it is of the good type not the bad type lol *crosses fingers*
So after a long time trying to balance time to update my diary and work and the rest of what I call my life now, I realised I hardly have enough time to write on this blog. And like that couple that has be so engrossed with life they forget each other until that day the children start leaving the nest for university and then it hits you, “we are actually a couple, how did it get to this, how did we get here?” I had my “I used to blog, my life was not this “too busy” how did I get here? I realised I needed to do something, and that something is joining blogging 101 courtesy of wordpress’ Blogging University.
So I am now doing my day one assignment, “who I am and why I am here“, Well it has been six years since I started a blog. I just wanted to write and tell stories, being an introvert, my stories don’t always strike a chord with everyone, so as they say I needed to find chickens of a feather to flock with. Oh crap, I didn’t introduce myself did I? Well, I am Mackel Tisa, I am random, like super random, I think life is too serious and tend to be drawn to people who are less serious, who can take a joke, and make me laugh even when they tell you the baddest stuff… I am wild at times but most I am the quiet guy at the corner watching watching what everyone else is doing.
Now on why I am here, well, it started with me just writing for the love of just letting myself out there in a mask. Then I met a friend who told me “oh, so you have a blog? do you know you can make crazy sums of money from working online?” I was like “oh, really!”. Show me how. They showed me a few tricks. Being the procrastinator I am, I tried them but not too wholeheartedly, after few months and my account had $0.50 I decided to leave “making money online to the pros” and continue telling my stories because maybe they make someone laugh or relate going by the feedback I get on twitter. Isn’t it funny that most of the people who also read my blog like being anonymous? They leave feedback everywhere else except my comment section.
Mackel Tisa tell us, what do you write about? I write about life and the experiences I go through and for those who have been following me through out the years might have noticed the transition from college, partying and binge drinking to more on love the the struggles in embracing it. I think I have never sat and thought, “who do I really want to read my blog” I however know who I wouldn’t want to read it….
What I want to achieve this year? I want to have more posts and more hits, yes the hits do matter. I hope that when I write I will get more people can identify with what I am writing and not alienate anyone….
Today 7.21am I got this text from my boy Shady “it’s a baby girl” of course it being labour day. I was dead asleep. When I woke up I find 10 text messages but the one from Shady catches my eye.
Out might be asking who Shady is, sometimes last year if you follow me on Instagram or twitter you will remember my first day chewing khat, and how it gave me ma handas, to date I can hardly explain that feeling. We had been called upon to go and pay bride price for his girl Pierra. As part of their tradition the in laws (Henry being one of them, I remember when it was his turn to speak he said Shady used to come visit him every other weekend kumbe it was not him but his cousin Pierra, hahaha.) They gave us khat, I was shown how to pick it, chew it and believe you me I chewed it. Later I was told it alters your performance in bed 😨😨😨 after I have done like two kgs of that stuff.
My mom ever since I told her about my friends marrying she started pressure on me to join the bandwagon haha. But today it is not about me but Shady and Pierra.
Life is a beautiful thing and as I am letting the news sink in, I will wish Pierra, Shady and their newborn a most fulfilling future ahead. Congrats :).
I have finally finalized moving, to a new self-hosted site, you can now head over there and subscribe afresh :-), See you on the other side… http://mackel9.com/
In the next a couple of weeks I will be moving this diary to a self hosted platform, and being me, I will be doing a lot of tinkering here and there since I do not plan having a professional help with it or rather I don’t want to pay for it, I’m cheap like that :-D. In the mean time I will find how to move a blog for dummies and find my way around the new host. If you find missing stuff or misplaced stuff do let me know :-).
To a hopefully bigger better house ey? Lets hope so 🙂
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