What is love

Love is not want…

Love is need!

When you want someone it mostly carries the baggage of, what you can get.

What you can get in terms of esteem, based on appearances, materially or any other void that would like plugged.

When the void is plugged or the want can not be satiated, then the importance of this other person ends.

However, when you need someone it is not tied to anything.

Because you need them with or without add-ons. Appearances, material things are all add-ons.

I’m not saying add-ons are bad, far from it. But if they make you feel the same way on a sandy beach or a public park, then you have found love.

And if you think of going for it, don’t dilly dally tell and start that journey for the longhaul.

And my hope is that you will spread true happiness that comes from within….

 

If I ever fall in love

Today I am going to tell you a random story, a story that I have never told anyone until now. Once upon a time there was this girl that I really liked, she was the ying to my yang we just fit like a ring to a ring finger. But then I was a wuss. I never really displayed my intentions I was scared.

I pretended I wanted just to be friends. That friendship, was the biggest thing that I valued in this world. Yup you guessed right. After a long period of battling with feelings for the potential future mother of my unborn children I grew a pair and asked her if she would be mine.

Well I never used those exact words I asked her if she had a boyfriend. To which she replied yes. She asked, “why?” to which I replied “nothing”. Thing is, I felt like I would be snatching away someones joy so me and my good self decided I wouldn’t, I felt like if I made a move I’d be a relationship breaker of some sorts.

We were still good friends and I repressed all these feelings until one day I decided you know what? What is the worst that could ever happen? What did I stand to lose? I told her I needed her to be my girlfriend, she told me she was still with him. But then she asked if she left him I’d love her forever? My heart was screaming yes, but my head was screaming “I’m not sure Kel, you know you have no experience in this shit whatsoever?”. So I told her I wouldn’t give promises. And she told me if she was to leave where she is, no matter how unrewarding it was there had to be some guarantees…

Just like that I lost her the second time. I don’t know if Prince Charles and Camilla can identify, can you? For about a week I was distraught, I didn’t know how to deal, cope with all this emotional ups and downs. My mom always makes fun of me during that period. Apparently she noticed and knew all that was going on haha.

Now that I am way older I usually look back and laugh. Like the alchemist told the boy, one is loved because one is loved, there is no reason needed for loving. But don’t go loving people’s spouses you will get shot my friend. Follow your heart to where it leads you.

 

Its been six years! Happy Anniversary Mackel9's Blog

Happy 6th Anniversary to Mackel9’s Blog! It is now 6 years down this line of random stories from the experiences all around the world. I would like to thank all of you fam and a special mention goes to @Woolie he is never shy to leave a trail. That is not to leave out the ghost readers, I always see you in my stats, Thank you! 🙂

Happy 6th anniversary @mackel9‘sblog

 

A love story

Scars

After being broken, she took time to begin her healing process. Far away from everyone. The pain had to be forgotten, walls were built and barbs to ward off all the attempts of entry.

Like they say time sure does heal…

She would sit and wonder “will I ever find him?” How many nice guys are left? How come I am the only one who seems to be left behind all my friends prosper? Where can I meet these nice guys and not a deadbeat? It was crazy. People kept on telling her she needs to put”herself out there”. But where is “out there”?. She had been to many places, and simply out there seems never to exist.

The yearning for love and be loved always haunted her in her sleep. All the checklist items, she had put out never seemed to come in one package. What to do?

After broken, he saw all women as the same. People to be related with at an arms length. He too built up walls, high walls…

He became really aloof. No regard to being tied down. Or getting committed again. He saw commitment as a weakness, something that made you vulnerable. Vulnerabilities were not allowed in his new self. Not ever, not again.

But then again, there was his mother. Always up his neck. “I am getting old you know? I need to see grandchildren”. He would laugh it off and tell her she would get a handful of them, when the time is right and when he finds someone he was ready to spend the rest of his life with. This would eat him up at night when he went to sleep. He still believed love existed, but his wounded heart was just not ready just yet. It wanted to stay where it felt safe and secure.

He wanted to get over the “what ifs and what would have been”. Cleanse himself of all her memories, forget the hurt, because even with all this he felt it would be unfair to drag someone innocent into his mess. “I shouldn’t let the wreck in me wreck other people he would say.”

Yin and Yang

One day they happened to have those functions for the youth at church. He still volunteered in such.

As they were preparing for the event, he saw her.

This new face all bright and bubbly.

He felt a gush of déjà vu. It was like he knew her from somewhere. He just couldn’t recollect where, even though it was totally a new face because he didn’t think he would have forgotten such a personality.

As they say, déjà vu is a sign of love at first sight.

He went over to her and said hi and tried to hit on her to make small talk. She totally ignored him. She thought, “he is probably like the rest of them” I don’t think I want to risk that again.

The function went well and she would keep hearing what a nice person he was. She sat opposite him and stared. He was actually someone she would love to get to know. He had good sense of humour, and for some reason she found his jokes insanely hilarious.

Courage the cowardly dog!

As they were finishing the function, she went up to him said “I think you are cute”. That got him by surprise. Big surprise, he was stunned, he didn’t know whether to blush or say thank you or whatever. This was new to him. So was it to her. She had decided there was nothing to lose. She had to make a move or forever keep her peace. He loved how bold she was.

“That is random, after ignoring me all this time you just drop a bombshell like this?”

She laughs.

“So is this where we get to kiss?”

“Hahahaha yes, in your dreams…”

“Can I get your number?”

“Sure”

“Coffee?”

“I would really love that”

Healing and fresh beginning

Both of them were scared of going all in at once. As the time rolled on by they realized they were the missing piece of each other’s puzzle and thus a love story was born.

 

Broken!

She met this guy, he was her world, everything she thought she ever wanted.

He had that flair, made her happy, incredibly so. One day her friend tells her how her “man” is hers and for many others too.

She couldn’t believe it, how could her friend try to destroy what she had yearned for for such a long time.

Why couldn’t she let them prosper?

But love is blind, thank God, that, her friend knew….

She invited her friend to go out at this new place.

They walk in and guess who they find at the corner lounge kissing someone else?

Her bae, lover, man…

She couldn’t believe it.

She felt so betrayed, when she had just thought she had finished her search for the one, then this?

How now?

She started doubting love exists, but she still believed in it, because the fire that he had lit, even though it had now died, it yearned to be reignited.

Broken!

He had met her in church.

She was very coy, something he found irresistibly alluring.

He chased her for as long as he could remember.

Then one day as he walked her home from church she said yes.

Imagine the joy, he felt like could burst.

Finally he had found someone he could introduce to his friends and family.

His baby girl moved to another town for work, they promised each other to stay faithful.

The future was bright for them as a couple, they would joke about how many babies they would have.

He wanted many, she wanted two, twins if the heavens willed it.

Communication started waning, the long evening calls started being short and far in between.

He asks for leave, picks his bag and travels to see his baby girl.

He can not let this fire die, he had to show the commitment.

After travelling the whole day, he got to the other town, went to a store and bought her those white chocolates she loves and a flower.

Yes a flower. Because he wanted her and only her forever to be by his side, that is how committed he was.

He walks up her doorway and rings the bell.

A man in boxer shorts opens the door, he asks where she was.

He is told she was in the kitchen.

“Babe, who is it?” she calls out across the hallway.

The guy in boxer shorts replies with, “there is someone here with a message for you.”

She comes through the doorway in a nightdress and stops on her tracks frozen.

He stands up says hello to her, picks his bags and leaves.

Not another word, he gives the chocolates to a street boy, and he books the next bus home.

On his trip back he thanks God for not carrying his firearm, he would have made another statistic.

He calls his boy and pours his heart out the whole commute.

He cannot believe she could do this to him.

After he had made all these commitments for a lifelong future with her….

Broken!

 

Barbershop

My barber quit and moved, so did I, now
I am keeping my hair. Do you know how long it takes to get a good barber who understands you. Who doesn’t ask why don’t you like “cuts” he shaves you to your liking without many madoido and you never get those bumps and ingrown hairs afterwards.

Finding a good barber is like falling in love, you keep testing the waters until you meet them. Maybe I should keep locks ey?

 

Hit on by a gay guy…

It is 4.56 pm, I am reviewing what i have done for the day as I prepare to call it a day, Then I get a text from a bew number, I would have ignored it with the many scams happening around hadn’t he used my name…

Scam text from a guy who is probably in prison…

Hi Mackel, how are you doing? Can I ask you something? There’s something that has been on my mind for a while now and I need to ask…

I try searching the number on true caller app as I wonder who could this be? No results! How convenient right?

I’m good, how about you? Who am I speaking to?

Ndirangu.

Ndirangu who?

Well, I used to see you a lot in this joint and we’d pass each other in the hallways. I don’t think you noticed me but I used to like you a lot… Are you gay?

At that moment I nearly choked. I look around the bus to see if there are any faces that look familiar and probably called Ndirangu who are texting, because if this was a prank… ah ah not funny at all.

NO Ndirangu, I am not gay. I love women. How did you get my number?

Well I am sorry for bothering you Mackel, do have a lovely evening.

The rest of my journey was troubled, I call all my friends who we’d go to the said joint. Nobody had a clue. I try sending money via M-Pesa, the name that shows up is totally strange and not Ndirangu!

Why would he think I was gay, is it the way I walk, talk what? I have never worn skinny pants all my life, it can’t be what I wear. To date I am still baffled by that encounter, being hit on by a gay man was surely a first for me…

What are some of your LGBT experiences as a straight person? Please do share…

 

 

Tricks about dating/ Relationship tips from a bachelor

On this arena of dating I am not a guru I am a very late Bloomer and never try to.hide that fact, I will say things which have been said before and probably I will say the same thing in different ways. There I have broken the first rule of story telling, never pre-empt anything at the beginning or start by apologizing/explaining yourself… but screw rules, we are talking about dating and there are not rules in this *#@@#

1. Don’t be boring
People want to be around (read date) interesting people people who excite them. I don’t know what this is all about, but listen a lot and if you pick out “remember when you/we did this? That was pretty awesome” and be doing that more often than the things a that don’t get mentioned.

2. Fake spontaneity if you have to but have a plan in your head
I think for the people who like knowing exactly what is going to happen and how it is going to happen, spontaneity is something we struggle with. We always have a plan. You know what you will do this weekend and next and the next after next. We have a list we cross off and keep adding new things. But you know what? Some people hate that, so how to you ensure you keep this interesting person who wants you to be a free like a butterfly like themselves? I won’t tell you to throw your list, no, but hide it!!! There you have it. Hide your list and ensure you only unleash the items on it the very last minute, how spontaneous is that? Pretty much, yes? You are welcome 😉

3. Be random
Never let your relationship reach point where you anticipate each other or it becomes routine. Be too random at times it scares and at the same time excites them. So yes you had been saving to take her/him on vacation to Madagascar and an opportunity to go skydiving in Diani happens, take her/him *disclaimer you are responsible for your financial management if you get into woes don’t say Mackel said. In hindsight the opportunity cost will be a healthy relationship ey?*

So there you have it, follow these tricks on dating and you will see yourself moving out of the friend zone more often. These apply to both girls and guys.

 

The abusive relationship

He offered her all she ever dreamt of
In her young and impressionable self,  this was the life
Then slowly the ugly head started rearing itself
He knew her every move. Stalker! Or is it PIs?
Who she talked to where she had been

He knew even the conversations she had on her phone

And not once did she see him pick up her phone to scroll!

Who are you? She often wondered to herself…
He threatened to hurt everyone he deemed competition
She was scared
She knew he was capable of what he said
She withdrew even from her closest friends
He owned her, it was an abusive relationship
And all that glitter was not worth the sacrifice

One day she packs and decides she is about to runaway and never look back. And there she started recreating her life back again.

How far are you willing to go/ sell your soul inorder to get the good life?

 

Six things you need to know about dating a girl who's above 25

So of late my friends think I have become good with women but the reality is women have become good with me. Dating a girl that is above 25 brings out a new perspective on the word date here is a few of the things I have made discoveries on:

1. Exclusivity
Whereas when she was younger she wouldn’t mind tagging along with a couple of friends to your dates, now if you are having a date it will be just you two. You get the time to really get to catch up and talk without trying to engage a third wheel who might not be privy to some of the things you talk about.

2. Less alcohol
While before going out in a club counted as a date. The girl who is 25 and above will prefer a proper date, not a drinking date. Even if there will be alcohol it is just to keep the story going not to make you too drunk you need to be carried home.

3. Content
The 25 plus girl will mostly be talking about her future, that MBA she intends to start or finish on, that deal she hears from PRC for a ka plot in Nanyuki (who lives in Nanyuki though?), getting the right partner because in a few years time she intends to settle down and she also talks alot about money and being upwardly mobile. This girl seems very clear about what she wants and how she will get there.

4. Bullshit
This is the biggest development you find. If she tells you “oh I have a bullshit detector” she is lying. But if you say something crappy and she stops you and tells you “you are shitting me right now” there you have found a girl who won’t accept to feed on crap.

5. Making the first move

Uncle Norman: Two and a half men

She knows when a guy likes her and is too scared to ask. Well this is not from my personal experience but from observation around hehe. She will throw things like, my evening tomorrow is free would you like to grab some coffee as the rain caused traffic eases? Or I know how really like chapo and I just know the place, it is the best kept secret when it comes to chapos.

6. Sex
If you have ever been involved in procurement process you know how you start with pre-qualifying suppliers. Basically sex will never be just random with this girl. If you ask nicely and she says yes, she premeditated about all the scenarios and knew how they’d play out in her head before. So you are the puppet. She will never say yes if she doesn’t want to. And most importantly if she wants to she is not too shy to initiate, at first she will be coy about it then it gets more broad about it depending on the partner’s response.

If you are a lady over 25 what has changed since you hit a quarter century? If you are a guy what are the changes you are noticing?