Monthly Archives: May 2015

Have we forgotten to dance?

It is Friday and I am feeling playful. It has beenΒ  two months since I went out and today, I just have to go and shake a leg. I no longer paint the town red haha.
I am to meet my boys in town to start off the evening. When I get to town one of the guys M is not to be reached five calls later no answer. He later explains he got a date *insert breezy’s voice* these guys ain’t loyal. Haha.

So I meet T and we start off at this new joint, at the entrance the bouncer freezes me, I show him my ID and he lets me in, maybe I should not dress down too much, ha, not happening. It is full such that there is no space to breathe let alone sit. We turn around and leave, despite the opportunity cost for eye candy.

We head to joint B, Nairobians are a hard bunch to please this place was big last year now there are empty seats at 7 pm. We take a strategic spot where we can have a well rounded view of the whole place. The music is really nice, it throws us back to growing up days. There is a supervisor with a really huge derriere and we cannot seem to agree whether it is real or not. Patrons seem to be here to just drink, but at 8.30 guys have started coming in and we decide we try an old drinking hole. As we leave the alcohol brings my thoughts to life.
What is your name?
You look good
So I have something nagging me, Is that real?
She gives me a go to hell glance and I leave laughing at my stupidity.
I tell T what just transpired and he tells me I have screwed our chances of patronising that place again or our glasses may be spit on. You know the way in the movies the guy at the drive through spits on the hot dog or sandwich of a rude customer?

The old drinking hole is packed to the pavement. But we still go upstairs to see if we can find room. There first take with two chairs we find ladies who tell us one is taken and we can only take one. The second table there is a guy who is very chatty but he can only let us have one seat. We borrow and join the ladies. The third lady soon joins the table and we continue gulping our drinks. Then this song comes up…

This lady screams like a little girl “this my song, this is my song” I raise my drink and smile to acknowledge. Then she starts dancing on the seat vigorously. I tell her she should just stand up and dance, it it not doing her justice. She seems reluctant so I ask her to dance. She looks at her friends for approval, I think they gave it because she stands and we go to find space. I thought we’d dance the safe dances, but instead she turns around and rubs her curvy derriΓ¨re on my crotch. I felt electricity and some excitement, after two months this is not how you want to start your dancing it I’d too charged. She takes my hands and holds them furthest from her hips as she can. The song is transitioned by another one and I say that was great and a thank you and head back to the seat. I take a huge swig to cool down and start observing around me. Everyone seems to be grinding on someone! I wonder if that is all there is to dance or what happened. Because I remember how back then my friends would try and do breakdance like Usher or Omarion, but now dance is more like a mating dance. Have you seen those ants that fly during rain? Then they lose wings and pair up looking for a new nest to start a fresh?

The ladies who had allowed us in there table get a call to go elsewhere and take their leave. Another group now joins us. One girl begins dancing before she even starts taking her drink. The others I presume they are too sober to dance! I stand and go ask is we can dance. She smiles and I take that as a yes. She tells me it is her birthday and I give her a happy birthday hug. It is awesome how you can hug strange people you just met under the influence ey? So we start the dance proper, we are looking each other busting mzungu moves I am not that good of a dancer :mrgreen:. Then at some point she turns around and yes you guessed it….

So my question is, when did twerking and shaking behinds and grinding become the only form of dance? Trust me, if you go around in Nairobi that is what you will see being termed as dance. Except some wazee joint that only plays only rhumba, but when it switches to lingala….

Look, I am not complaining, I love me a good twerk as long as it is not from Miley but is that all we have in the dance basket of tricks currently? Because I think when you ask a girl to dance she expects you will at some point grind on her butt, which can become really uncomfortable when a boner starts threatening to build from the excitement! Anyway maybe it is me. Maybe next time I should try and turn whoever I ask to dance to face me and keep it that way. The funny thing some of the girls I asked about why they turn, they say they don’t like it but still do it. My question is why? If you have ever done that then why? What are your reasons?

WALK THE MOON – Shut Up and Dance:


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A Vietnam short film – Truth of Love

So after watching that video, what comes to mind? Have you been in such a situation? The unavailable love?!!


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Letter to my nineteen year old self

Dear younger M,

How are you man? No, like how are you really doing? I know you are liking your freshman year it is not like anything you ever imagined. Although mom thwarted all plans to go to that university furthest from home, because in your silliness (yup young and foolish) you mentioned how you would be partying in Uganda every weekend, you will later come to appreciate it was probably for your best interest.

I know your ambitions as great, she always told you to be all rounded and you intend in doing just that. However you will need to learn how to balance it is easy to trip and find yourself on the wrong side. Call it work play balance for now, later you will be hearing about work life balance and that will be the real shit because a thin line will be drawn. But as long as you learn to balance on that rope you will be good.

You will need to grow a thick skin, not every person is sensitive and keen not to trample on your feelings, ego, aspirations and everything else that you care about.

All those opportunities to jump into entrepreneurship take them, do not listen to the naysayers, tell you what? After the first two failures the third one was going to work out, only if you held out enough.

You will need to work on your anger, it make you hurt the people you really care about. You will also need to work on your patience, I know your generation is the here and now, you want it now now. Unfortunately your generation is not the one calling the shots you will need to adapt or you will end up disillusioned.

If you want to go into business, trust me family is not where you are looking for partners. You have seen enough friends get messed up by those they trusted the most. But you need to learn how to trust, it is essential if your relationships are to grow.

Speaking of which, you know all those girls you were so afraid to talk to back then? You will find that they would have responded positively had you grown a pair and made the first move, you will be surprised some feel the same way. Trying does not cost anything. The worst that will ever happen is getting a no. That is more bearable trust me than the what ifs that haunt you way later.

That stupid fear of failure is one thing you will need to manage because it will always hold you back from life changing opportunities. Also work on that procrastination as uncle Bon told you, it is an old man’s disease.

Your dreams and goals some you get to achieve, others will need more time. But don’t lose your ability to dream it will keep you sane.

Keep your friendships well, you will find family in them. On family, remember those small cousins of yours? They will one day grow and you start talking about things you never would have thought they were able to ever discuss with you. Remember some people look up to you, be sensible be responsible.

For now,
Yours sincerely
Older and wiser



It's a baby girl

Today 7.21am I got this text from my boy Shady “it’s a baby girl” of course it being labour day. I was dead asleep. When I woke up I find 10 text messages but the one from Shady catches my eye.
Out might be asking who Shady is, sometimes last year if you follow me on Instagram or twitter you will remember my first day chewing khat, and how it gave me ma handas, to date I can hardly explain that feeling. We had been called upon to go and pay bride price for his girl Pierra. As part of their tradition the in laws (Henry being one of them, I remember when it was his turn to speak he said Shady used to come visit him every other weekend kumbe it was not him but his cousin Pierra, hahaha.) They gave us khat, I was shown how to pick it, chew it and believe you me I chewed it. Later I was told it alters your performance in bed 😨😨😨 after I have done like two kgs of that stuff.


My mom ever since I told her about my friends marrying she started pressure on me to join the bandwagon haha. But today it is not about me but Shady and Pierra.
Life is a beautiful thing and as I am letting the news sink in, I will wish Pierra, Shady and their newborn a most fulfilling future ahead. Congrats :).


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