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Tag Archives: Dreams

Elusive dreams – Elizabeth Orchardson Mazrui

I toss and turn

Restless in sleep

Hold you close

Wake to find

You’re nothing

But a dream

Fleetingly nebulous

 

Hovering dream

Like an elusive dream

That hovers on the brink

Of reality

You have once again

Left me holding

Nothingness

 

P.S. Do you think dreams are still valid even when they keep playing the elusive card?

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Fifteen through Twenty Five

Dear diary,

Today am turning a quarter a century old! Damn that’s old! I know its old because last Saturday my niece was turning two; When we got to the birthday girl’s home I see this beautiful lady and I make a mental note to get to know her as the party progresses, the event was filled with moms, aunties am sure she must have felt left out same way the only three male uncles felt. Such events bring together people you probably saw a year before, I decide to ask a cousin where her sister was, whom when I last saw I was a skinny Fifteen year old; she gives me that look (you know the look, that says more that the mouth is telling) and asks who the person seated right across was, shock on me! Ten years can transform a person no doubt, apparently my long time no see cousin had already recognised me while in my head I was going about some hot lady I just saw, ha! I have made a sweeping declaration that I will now ensure I visit all my family members extended or otherwise I don’t want to find myself making moves on family. Can you imagine the shock and embarrassment, had I continued with those cheesy lines from theTao of Badass?

Back to today, I thought something phenomenal would happen to mark such a milestone, maybe it is still coming. I think January babies have a hard time; it being the month immediately after Christmas holidays, everyone is usually following up on other pressing needs rather than give a hoot you have a birthday [check out twitter handles with January dates, those are people giving hints, please don’t forget to say give them a wish, hints can’t get stronger than that…], this makes us more understanding we are more empathetic I would like to think. The last time I ever saw a semblance of a gift despite the many hints and express suggestions I usually give was two years ago! Sucks right? I’m a man I should let it slide yes? Well, screw that I want some MPESA! That’s feels better now, being able to rant a little like a spoilt brat…. Okay am done!

Let me sober up, I shouldn’t get carried away. Above all I am grateful to God for the grace of living that long, I continue to count my blessings and am always amazed. At Fifteen, I used to dream big which hasn’t changed to date [and while at it, got hit with a duster so many times that I lost count, who schedules math class in afternoons anyway?]. I had envisioned two scenarios after school; either go into the business world or into flying. It seems the business option worked out [though am sure mom would have liked an Engineer out of me and am thankful she never forced me into it. I have seen people forced into career paths they hate and they resent their parents for that, so hey generation x and y parents allow your sons and daughters follow their hearts]. By work out I mean that I am in a field where I get to interact with different businesses and some really smart people. These people really widen the horizon of your thinking if you are keen; in my case if you impress me I will listen to the point of letting my guard down [hey con men don’t try this on my ass!].

At Fifteen I had this idea that by the time I hit twenty-five I would have been married, well sort of. I used to toy with the idea of starting a family early so that by the time I hit forty the nest is free from hormone imbalanced teens [can you believe such reasoning from a teen? I think I became self-aware early enough but that is story for another day], so that when “life begins” we can have no disruptions, it is just me and the missus and a lot of time to ourselves, oh boy the folly of youth! Now that I am twenty-five I am not even thinking of getting married or kids anytime soon, but if you have a wedding you can always invite me, who knows I might get jealous enough to change my mind hehehe.

Two years ago I was introduced to the concept of goal setting; look at it as persona performance management only in this case you are your own supervisor the drive has to come from within – Self Motivation. This enables you to focus on SMART objectives unlike resolutions which are based on feelings or for the moment [if you have already broken your new year’s resolution you can understand the difference]. I made some three-year goals in 2012 which I take everywhere in my goal card in my wallet, this helps you to keep on track and lose focus. This happens to be the last year I get to work towards achieving the few remaining goals and hopefully when I achieve them I will feel more inclined to talk about them more of brag sort of lol.

For now let me continue sending strong hints and express suggestions that I need gifts and start preparing on living the next quarter century of my life, the journey has just begun 🙂 but we will survive and I will keep you posted.

PS. On a totally unrelated note, I have lost 4 kilos since December but I still cannot see the buckle of my belt! I feel the abs already forming only that they are covered by a layer of fat but I am getting there 🙂 [Henry thinks am overly optimistic but 4 kilos is proof enough I can lose 4 more and get to a well-toned body, yes?]

In my playlist

Beautiful Soul ¬ Jesse McCartney

Mackel

 

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Dreams Vs Reality

Today is my birthday dang I am getting old and fast. As a kid you want to grow up and when you finally do you start growing old and fast , really fast. Well I guess January babies are the best people to understand you when you say you are broke; if you know what having a birthday at a time when everyone is complaining of being broke and all that. Since I have been haggling for gifts and none is forthcoming I guess I better just steal some time and reflect on an older me, I don’t know if am getting any wiser though…

Photo: xcitefun.net

Photo: xcitefun.net

Growing up we have some of these dreams and we grow and we find ourselves in a totally different reality well here are some of my dreams and the realities:

  1. Number one has to be you yes you sending me a gift you know yourselves! Reality is I have to be content with receiving belated ones next week or later, guess I will get used to this being born at such a date, postponed birthdays? Who gets that?
  2. I heard someone said that by 25 men should have a car, well I also dreamt of that too, but the reality is, going at this rate, 25 (I can see you busy trying guess my age, STOP!) might find me still shoebaruing and legxusing around 😐
  3. We all have those big dreams of landing six figure salaries straight out of college, have these personas that did it and want to be like them. Well the reality is this; unless the six figures is per annum then someone lied to me or I am doing something wrong very very wrong hehe.
  4. I had this fantasy of getting a six pack two years down the line the reality is I cannot see my buckle anymore, maybe its time I tried those magic remedies I read on the Internet!
  5. Another reality is, Many of us experienced Njaanuary if you did then, I guess you also like me are trying to be financially stable, stability is all through the year, no? Not just you being stable in some months and unstable in others!!! 😛

I will continue this list later, I hope the realities will have started syncing with the dreams soon, wish me luck :-).

Now I want that gift!

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2013 in Breaking Loose!, Comfort zone., Maturity, New waters!

 

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