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Category Archives: New waters!

Its been six years! Happy Anniversary Mackel9's Blog

Happy 6th Anniversary to Mackel9’s Blog! It is now 6 years down this line of random stories from the experiences all around the world. I would like to thank all of you fam and a special mention goes to @Woolie he is never shy to leave a trail. That is not to leave out the ghost readers, I always see you in my stats, Thank you! 🙂

Happy 6th anniversary @mackel9'sblog

Happy 6th anniversary @mackel9‘sblog

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Hit on by a gay guy…

It is 4.56 pm, I am reviewing what i have done for the day as I prepare to call it a day, Then I get a text from a bew number, I would have ignored it with the many scams happening around hadn’t he used my name…

Scam text from a guy who is probably in prison

Scam text from a guy who is probably in prison…

Hi Mackel, how are you doing? Can I ask you something? There’s something that has been on my mind for a while now and I need to ask…

I try searching the number on true caller app as I wonder who could this be? No results! How convenient right?

I’m good, how about you? Who am I speaking to?

Ndirangu.

Ndirangu who?

Well, I used to see you a lot in this joint and we’d pass each other in the hallways. I don’t think you noticed me but I used to like you a lot… Are you gay?

At that moment I nearly choked. I look around the bus to see if there are any faces that look familiar and probably called Ndirangu who are texting, because if this was a prank… ah ah not funny at all.

NO Ndirangu, I am not gay. I love women. How did you get my number?

Well I am sorry for bothering you Mackel, do have a lovely evening.

The rest of my journey was troubled, I call all my friends who we’d go to the said joint. Nobody had a clue. I try sending money via M-Pesa, the name that shows up is totally strange and not Ndirangu!

Why would he think I was gay, is it the way I walk, talk what? I have never worn skinny pants all my life, it can’t be what I wear. To date I am still baffled by that encounter, being hit on by a gay man was surely a first for me…

What are some of your LGBT experiences as a straight person? Please do share…

 

 

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The abusive relationship

He offered her all she ever dreamt of
In her young and impressionable self,  this was the life
Then slowly the ugly head started rearing itself
He knew her every move. Stalker! Or is it PIs?
Who she talked to where she had been

He knew even the conversations she had on her phone

And not once did she see him pick up her phone to scroll!

Who are you? She often wondered to herself…
He threatened to hurt everyone he deemed competition
She was scared
She knew he was capable of what he said
She withdrew even from her closest friends
He owned her, it was an abusive relationship
And all that glitter was not worth the sacrifice

Domestic violence

One day she packs and decides she is about to runaway and never look back. And there she started recreating her life back again.

How far are you willing to go/ sell your soul inorder to get the good life?

 

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#NSFW Tinder in Kenya. The match un-match business.

So the cat in me decided, what the hell is this tinder i kept hearing from a third of the conversations from my friends and acquaintances. Like a cat the curiosity built up untill I could not hold it anymore

5KQHj5i
Si I decide to let my ass join tinder well that was to last exactly for one week only. So here is my short and crazy experience on this animal😂

Saturday
Start checking out tinder alternatives. Saw hot or not. Fun something. Badoo. Tinder and a host of other unrated apps. Itart reading reviews and finally decide to go with tinder.

Sunday
I download the app and start learning the ropes. I start swiping right but I am choosy. Oolala I get a couple of hot hot babes who swipe back and it’s a match!😏😏 I must be doing pretty good. I go start checking out my new babes description and alas! Guess what I find out? They are escorts! A snippet of the description read “twerk queen, will make you forget your problems. Well loaded guys, broke boys and jokers please swipe left” Wueh!
The other nubile match that atleast looks innocent we start chatting then I have no idea what I said wrong she unmatched me!😭😭

Monday
The word fuckboy keeps appearing more times than I could count. I have to find out what it means. The matches who say they just want just friends can’t really seem to hold a conversation. I think maybe it is my kick off strategy that is bad, I go to the app store and download apps to help with the cheesy lines that break the ice and get her talking. When the tacky lines can’t seem to work since they are not tailored for Africa. Especially Kenya I surrender.

Screenshot_2016-05-03-22-01-23-758

I go to my friend M and start lamenting how I cannot seem to find babes on tinder. Babes who are not seeking the size of my pants or wallet. She asks me to send her my profile and she goes nope nope throw away those pics put kickass pics. You got to be a thirst trap Kel. I think a thirst trap huh? Okay then. Challenge accepted.

Tuesday
I go through my phone and find some kickass pics which I get M to put the stamp of approval and put them up. I put them up and wait. And wait and waaaaaiiiiit. Kwani these people don’t see my kick ass pics ama niaje? I mean I am playing by the rules and even have enlisted the help of a coach all ego aside right?

Wednesday
I decide maybe it is my description is the one giving me problems. I formulate what I think was pretty dope.”If I was a cat my ninth would be lost on tinder, just a curious mind. Existing only in your mind, I am yours,  your faithful imaginary friend #TinderHomeofImaginaryFriends

Thursday
My coach tells me “dude you got to be swiping as much as possible, you can’t be expecting her to fall from heaven line manna”. From that alone I change my discovery setting from the minimum of 2 km to max of 159 km.
I then swipe and super like until all my likes and super lies are finished. So I am told super like is for those who don’t want to waste time. You could see the future mother of your kids and you don’t want to wait until she sees you and swipes right back. You want her to get notifications because tinder doesn’t let the other person know. It has to be a mutual liking to get a match. So say you are a guy and want to give a lady your sperm and you don’t feel like you can wait. You super like and fast forward that hookup. Same thing applies for ladies, say you see a guys who makes your ovaries cry out for him. Super like that dude!!! You are welcome!!

Friday
I don’t log in

Saturday
I get new matches I feel good again. But the weird part is nobody seems interested in conversation. More matching and unmatching.
Then I decide to chat up the very first matches I made and the response is straight to the point Ten thousand for an hour.
I curl back to where I came from. I tell my friend and she tells me she gets that alot, instead of hi, it’s “how much for a night”

Sunday
This day I match with a creative manager somewhere and I think you myself finally I found someone to talk to. And the best thing is she wants friends only. So I ask her why she is on tinder and as I am about to explain myself and goofyness I was unmatched!
I decide I had enough in tinder wonderland. I deactivate the Account and delete the app. For now I’d rather rather talk to the crazy strangers in mathrees. Let me stick to the rivers and lakes I am used to…

Have you ever been on tinder? What was your experience?

 

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Letter to my fourteen year old self – Guest Post

Now that we are in that phase where many people are discovering themselves, or getting to find their personal legend “yup I finally read the alchemist after a year of procrastinating but that is a post for another day”. My friend was telling me of a story of the things she thought she wanted and how now she looks at herself and realizes her path was paved in a totally different direction. She wishes to remain anonymous so let me welcome miss anonymous 🙂

***

I am not one of the few people who had a career figured out when I was in primary school or high school. It took me a while to figure out that I wanted to be a Human Resources Professional after a stint in an International Trade and Banking. I guess it is because at fourteen years old, I did not have an understanding of what a Human Resources Management entailed unlike in the fields of Finance, Law, Architecture and Medicine.

If I was to write a letter to my fourteen year old self, this is what I would tell her:

Dear fourteen year old miss anonymous,

From an older wiser you, this is what I want you to do:

  1. Continue with your hobby, if you did not have one, find it.
  2. When you join campus, engage yourself in all the activities, sports, clubs etc. There are so many activities that one can get involved in, find at least three.
  3. Party and have fun but also read and make sure you get good grades.
  4. Find internships in where your interest lays, right from the time you are in first year. (I remember I did an accounting internship, and that’s when I discovered I never wanted to be an Accountant, look at who would be doing a boring Accounting job)
  5. Travel, there are lots of opportunities to travel locally with clubs in campus and guess what you get everything at the student’s rate which is way cheaper. Explore your country, maybe go to museums, the national park, the list is endless.
  6. As soon as you get a job, move out of your parents’ house. When you move out, you grow up and start becoming responsible. Lucky me, my parents were not living in Nairobi so I had to move out by force when I landed a job.
  7. Follow your gut. The best advice you will ever get will come from your gut instinct.
  8. Always try something new.
  9. The sky is the limit (cliché I know)

It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about? – Henry David Thoreau
Like wildflowers; you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.

 

With a lot of love I am yours,

Older miss anonymous :-*

 

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Who I am and why I’m here

Hello there, are you there can you hear me?

So after a long time trying to balance time to update my diary and work and the rest of what I call my life now, I realised I hardly have enough time to write on this blog. And like that couple that has be so engrossed with life they forget each other until that day the children start leaving the nest for university and then it hits you, “we are actually a couple, how did it get to this, how did we get here?” I had my “I used to blog, my life was not this “too busy” how did I get here? I realised I needed to do something, and that something is joining blogging 101 courtesy of wordpress’ Blogging University.

So I am now doing my day one assignment, “who I am and why I am here“, Well it has been six years since I started a blog. I just wanted to write and tell stories, being an introvert, my stories don’t always strike a chord with everyone, so as they say I needed to find chickens of a feather to flock with. Oh crap, I didn’t introduce myself did I? Well, I am Mackel Tisa, I am random, like super random, I think life is too serious and tend to be drawn to people who are less serious, who can take a joke, and make me laugh even when they tell you the baddest stuff… I am wild at times but most I am the quiet guy at the corner watching watching what everyone else is doing.

Now on why I am here, well, it started with me just writing for the love of just letting myself out there in a mask. Then I met a friend who told me “oh, so you have a blog? do you know you can make crazy sums of money from working online?” I was like “oh, really!”. Show me how. They showed me a few tricks. Being the procrastinator I am, I tried them but not too wholeheartedly, after few months and my account had $0.50 I decided to leave “making money online to the pros” and continue telling my stories because maybe they make someone laugh or relate going by the feedback I get on twitter. Isn’t it funny that most of the people who also read my blog like being anonymous? They leave feedback everywhere else except my comment section.

Mackel Tisa tell us, what do you write about? I write about life and the experiences I go through and for those who have been following me through out the years might have noticed the transition from college, partying and binge drinking to more on love the the struggles in embracing it. I think I have never sat and thought, “who do I really want to read my blog” I however know who I wouldn’t want to read it….

What I want to achieve this year? I want to have more posts and more hits, yes the hits do matter. I hope that when I write I will get more people can identify with what I am writing and not alienate anyone….

Anything I left out? Please leave a comment 🙂

Mackel

 

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Love between African men!!

I remember the first time when Henry told me I love you
Well we were drunk
And I thought maybe he is bringing out his gay ass out haha
So I never told him back
But it would nag me in my head
Then I came to realise something
You remember the four types of love you learned in school?
Agape, Phileo, Storge and Eros
Then it hit me, there were people I really care about whom were not family (Storge) or people I am attracted to sexually (Eros), there has been people whom are like brothers and sisters people who are there all through (Phileo) and most times we assume they are there by chance, we never get to appreciate them.

I think it our socialization, love is made to be a word that is used in particular situations or with particular people;as with the case with two of my friends if you are a guy they never tell you bye of goodnight, they always respond with “same” or “sawa” or “fiti” and I just go away laughing to myself. They feel that saying that to a guy is being soft or weak. Why am I writing about this, you ask. As I was watching straight outta Compton Dr. Dre only told Eazy E that he cared for him as a brother on his hospital bed, wouldn’t it be good if we give out flowers when people can still smell them?
Well I tried telling Henry back I loved him, it came out weird but I guess if I tell him “I don’t hate you man” it communicates yes? They should find a gangsta version of communicating love between same sex and people you are not sexually attracted to, I know adding no homo is meant to help but what if I am telling a girl whom I have no other intention except communicating I value the friendship? Because all those synonyms, I adore…, I am fond… will raise eyebrows… Okay I’m done

So this season, if you have someone who you feel has been there for you through thick and thin, go ahead and tell them. It might be someone who just listens to your troubles when everybody else has had it from you. Someone who helps out without you asking but you need the help (ego much). Whichever way they are there for you, just tell them…

 

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